朋友会欺凌我吗?
浓缩版
Friends will sometimes have bad days. Friends will sometimes disagree. Friends will sometimes hurt each other's feelings, have an argument, or simply need time away from one another. This is normal and can happen in any friendship, no matter how close. If you are experiencing treatment from a friend that hurts you and you have asked that friend to stop, but it still continues, then that is not friendship. That behavior could be bullying. Friendship behaviors do not include hurting someone on purpose or continually being mean even when asked to stop. A friend will change or be remorseful for her behavior if she finds out she's hurting you. If you aren't certain if what is happening is part of a normal friendship or if it is bullying, talk to an adult you trust and get help sorting out the relationship. And yes, it is okay (and the right thing to do) to ask for help.
完整版
Is it possible that someone we call a friend, or even a best friend, is the very person that treats us the worst? How can the person with whom we share jokes, snacks, and secrets be someone who hurts us?
With relationships, it’s natural to have conflict as we learn how to be friends and communicate. Sometimes we make mistakes with friends, hurt their feelings, apologize for what we’ve done, and move on. Through making mistakes in our relationships, we learn what to do with the people around us — as well as what not to do. It’s normal to have conflicts or disagreements with friends as we grow up; that’s how we learn to be better friends and communicators.
What’s not okay — and is never deserved — is when someone we are close to decides to threaten us, to hurt our feelings intentionally, misuse our trust, or make us feel less than who we are. If someone we call a friend repeatedly uses bullying behavior — such as belittling who we are, trying to control us, or attempting to tell us who we can be friends with — that’s no longer a friend. That type of behavior is outside of friendship in every way and has to be called what it is: bullying.
This is a painful and sometimes unacknowledged type of bullying that is hard to understand and even harder to endure. Here’s how to recognize when those we are close to are bullying us, even though we call them “friends.”
Below are some examples to help recognize if bullying is happening in your relationships:
- You are made fun of, called names, or teased for your appearance or what you wear
- You are mocked or mimicked for what you say or how you act
- You are laughed at when people know you’re hurting from being teased or physically abused
- You are told who you can be friends with or what you can and can’t do
- You are purposefully excluded from events or get-togethers in which other friends are invited
- You have told your friends to stop the negative behavior and they continue anyway
- You are made to feel that you don’t live up to the standards of the friend group